Sway

Sway with me Move with me rhythmically Like the wind envelop me in you your heady musk, my natural lust for only you. Trace me on the ground. Spin my balance all around. Oxygen has no place between us.

Bad dreams

Is this a dream? It feels like a dream. You know those rare times when you consciously know your dreaming. When you can even here the sounds of reality around you, but your dream just keeps on playing in the for front of your mind like it has no clue your minds eye is open, deliberately watching its every movement. This must be a dream. Otherwise I would feel more or less. I feel almost numb to this unknown land of familiar ache, and O it hurts so painstakingly good. Can you change a dream? You know the times when you fiddle with the idea of flying and for just a moment you soar. Could I have changed this dream to feel better? To fit the happier side of my perception of joy a bit more precise? If I had loved differently than maybe today wouldn't be inherently sad. All of these familiar faces telling me to run to unknown places to deal with their sense of what I am going through. Somehow they imagine they too can feel my very heart disintegrating inside of me.That they too are familiar with the ache known only by my unassuming heart. In truth I am as alone in this as they where in their pains of love, and there is only one human that could fill that looming void; sadly he doesn't believe I could fill his. Yes, I think I'll stay asleep a while longer and if I try hard enough maybe then I could fly.

realm insanity

Look at this madness that is your world. You thirst for order, but drink of the insanity that is the realm. sad is the man that wants for more but lives for so much less.

The days of old.

Remember the days of old? The days when we would dance to relevant tunes of our adolescent times. When the worries of the day were only what happened in the hours past the sunrise. When life was so incredibly pure that dancing, just swaying to your very own melody was the perfect cup of joe on the coolest of mornings. When we fully trusted our parents to take care of important things while we flitted between the lines adding our own sense of self to the equation. When picking peas from your meatloaf was your one and only aspiration for the moment. Somedays I wish I could go back to that time with you. The time when I knew nothing of time.

Tide

She watched as the blue moon toyed with his movements. He danced for her never taking one moment to relax. He danced the rhythmic tune of his own melody and she watched in awe as his masculinity move expertly to such a precise song as his own. and he watched her intent on a lasting impression. Wanting her so badly his very nature called her to him. He was warm to the thought, alluring and mesmerizing. Yet bitter and harsh to the first touch. Unwavering he moved never misstepping as he deliberately stalked her. Slow agonizingly slow he closed in like predator to the all knowing prey. Accepting her fate she moved closer to him then drew back slightly from his harsh roar. He was the only constant she knew. Always there. always magnificently alive. Never a promise unkept; with him nothing was absolute but his unpredictable appetite for more. Finally she moved in. Ignoring his cold grip. Escaping in the crashing masculinity of his voice. He surrounded her and left no privacy between them. His bold intimacy took her last breath. His hold on her was great and she knew nothing else but him. With no choice left in the matter and even less care, finally she gave way to the tide.

Existence

Stretch my body to bring forth life for you are the only extension of me that is real. Spread my hips and streak them in lines; the very smallest of sacrifice. Drink of me and live by my body. Rest upon me and listen my heart it beats for your very existence.

Stained Window

My window has changed blue pane, stained glass window veins My older eyes see more of you Though Id rather a distorted view. I can't look away, a horror this film watching you. I can't see the way I can dry these old eyes staring directly at you. Free me from my need to know you and I will smile in mockery. Make me believe I once knew you and my beclouded view was magnificently true.

Mute

My hands are tied. My mouth wide open. I scream as loudly as the mute and unspoken. Powerless to change the direction of your thoughts. Battling against a cause ultimately lost. You ask for an answer to a solved equation. The sum is not a riddle emitting humiliation. So change the direction your feet have take and trust our creator for your very own sake.

Walk away

Today I walked away from you. I cut a corner and didn't look back. I heard your cries but they burn me and I couldn't take the incandescence. Have you not seen my torment? Did you not create this melancholy that covers me? When I raised you I was but adolescent and you brought me fourth so why was I the one holding your sobs. Your sorry cries that I still can not comprehend. I am man. The man you created and I did not ask for you. Did you ever rejoice for me? Do you yearn for my love like I unknowingly for yours? Do you seek my acceptance or has the wall that is my back become the only relationship you have with I. Hurt me so good. Create my imperfections and focus deeply upon them. for all I could ever need is your love. The abyss that is my heart I stuff with empty things to fill the hole that a mothers love should have. Take me back to the child hearing your sweet cries and close your eyes to the dysfunction that you have created in me. Cloak me in you mama. For I yearn for I what cannot accept. I love you more than I love me.

Shame me

Do you see the shame on my eyes. Stained glass windows with years of compromise. Stare through me and judge all that I am. Because I wear excrement on the outside I am somehow less of a man. My everything on my back and my home at your feet. Dare you not ask me about the places I sleep. I am all that you are willing to see. Look into my face and find a human being. A beating heart and flowing blood stained hands a face wilted by the sun. These feet have tread through all terrain and my skin is the jacket that shields me from the rain. God bless me; instead of how are you? somehow they forget I was once human, like you.

This Tree

This tree that grows inside of me is my very own. Rooted deep and buried far the seed of my beginning unknown. My leaves they wilter from years of hanging low and this tree that grows inside of me is my very own. Shower me with love and I willingly grow; vibrantly, cognizant, existing in my very own. My blossoms have been plucked and used for others gain. my lovely bark scraped and scathed in others names. I hide with myself far above my tree. For these roots are the only thing barely grounding me. Hack away at my body use it for your shelter, I am used to being used for your inconsolable swelter. Plant your weeds around me let them thrive from I. Your hurt has become the part of me that I cannot compromise. My body bent and aching, standing on its own, my Sap pure but leaving me for your very own. Use my bark and write your lies all over me. Implant me with your pesticides; Gods plan faulted by human sacrifice. I am a tree still standing, buried inside of me. I am a me still living, for how can a tree ever be truly free.

Listen

I listen this night. My angry hurt loves you and I can't quite let go of hope. Everything within me knows you, but your reckless sparatic exterior shuns those memories. Your nothing that I want yet all that I need. Feel me when I am gone and I know you see me. Eyes closed I reach for you. Laying next to another I know you reach for me. Let me go and I would leave but only so far this shackle will lead. Your losing all that I am. I'm almost to gone. My back turned I hear your thoughts, but you hide from me. You take me away to the most desolate land then leave me to my very own device. You disgust me with the deepest of love that I painstakingly try And bury; yet it grows and no body knows it But I. For all I have is me and though I have been wrong tonight, tonight I listen. Tonight I give way to the feelings I see. Red and dark angry death stare I glare at you in my memories. O the way I hurt for you. Only you.

Remember

Remember this imperfect love. Imprint it on your heart. Grasp it fiercely and posses it's quality. Never let it flutter away. Keep it, for it is all we truly own. Embrace the invisible melody this enamored symphony of love creates.

Deception.

A shadow in pitch darkness is impossible at best
A figure made of light is your faith at true test
I walked in an alley filled with unholy things
I loved a sand man who couldn’t hold my ring
A hog that can fly is every pessimists dream
A kiss with no lips is a bee with no sting
I watched my thoughts float around me like fire fly’s at dusk
Then simultaneously combust; like a lesbian’s unnatural lust.
I stared into a hole un-bounding and old
I sauntered into a wonderland where there where no roads,
And as I walked down them I surely became lost,
For there were no signs telling me which way I ought.
I lived amongst this perplexity for many an hour.
Bewildered and found in the cocoon I once cowered.
I retraced my steps to the road without direction and was found in the lost sense of my very own deception
I loved a sand man who couldn’t hold my heart
I found a sun in the darkness and that was all I sought.

Knowing You.

I know you, I have known you for a while now and I know you well.
You are the hand that embraces mine
The eyes that watch my sleeping figure
The smile that reassures my every apprehension
You are the body that shields my own,
but this hour; this indistinct hour I don’t know that I know you at all.
There is a part of you that I cannot see.
A part so well hidden from me.
Enclosed in a skull, floating in your very own shell of uncomfortable secrets.
That place, muted and so full of sound.
Your very own resonance. It guffaws at my ignorance. It questions my silence.
It feeds my curiosity with the words your mouth so choose.
and I taste the bitter afterbirth of every admission you try and swallow
I know you, I know every part of you that I dare recognize. and the others?
The others I sheathe within my own sheltered skull, your ignorance the very same as
mine. I know you.

Lack Luster

Eyes sparkle like sapphire stones

Sweet lips glistening; Tragedy prone.

Hips sway mockingly from side to side.

His heart grows bitter; her very presence makes him quiver

A voice filled with haunting desire.

Assuming in every way; this fortress is my empire.

Great at a game I was not meant to play, poisoned by extremities that should have never traveled my way.

I am lust in the flesh, a walking contradiction.

I am the remains of a disease someone left in a pool that a young girl swam in.

Wicked with a blind eye to all that is right.

Wrong with an open heart to anyone willing to fight.

I am a honey sweet sting; taste my sin.

I am glass, shattered; I glimmer with a lustrous emotion.

I was adolescent and it wasn’t a choice.

Yet it burned so deep to hear the screams of my ever-silent voice.

Rough hands. Soft skin. Young body. No oxygen.

Tainted mind, heavy tears.

Hypothesis that form no conclusion.

This I know. That I fear will be the story of her life written in scars, hidden by skin, vivid to only her and him.

By Eboni Gonzalez & Tiffani Hilliard

Just smell the flowers.

"It is more enjoyable to smell the magnolias and let them thrive than to posses them and watch them die."

-Me

‎"The life of a writer is lonely and vain no person can see that you're really just grammatically insane."

-Me

Frantic ballet

Kiss my fingertips, breathe my skin. Caress the palms of my hands; let's dance the movements of love again. Lock into my stare. Don't dare look away, its bitter outside but its warm in your embrace. Give me your nature in all of its entirety. If I beg you to stop, I'v lost my sanity. Be the everything that my mind believes you are, let go of foolish logic let's become what we are. Race me to the finish line. We are lions after prey. Wash away my persperation with your own, we are one this way. Taste the wanting of exctasy as we dance this frantic ballet. Now lay me down once again as you painstakingly pull away. Smile with those eyes. yes your masterpiece fully complete; He who greets with fire and ice never to much of either one. Now hold me tighter than before and trace the paintings of my skin. How addictive the feel of you. My personal artist and I your paper victim.

Amas eyes.

Her eyes, they stare like majestic stars glowing in the night. Striking and bright but they tire. Exhausted from years of wires changing and racing the electricity of time that flows through her mind. The memory of him is faint yet strong as her heart beats on she knows it is he who gave her the blood that made her strong. But Lord how am I strong from a man so gone he cant even look into my eyes. These eyes! The very ones he gave me before he turned away. That day. That day. So a machine. I am perfect and strong I carry on each day as if I never knew there was a thing wrong. So Take my hand and lead me away to a place where emotions are a choice and i wont have to hear the constant echo of his voice. No stop! please don’t. I wont feel for him, it cant be my fault I was an adolescent, a child, please let it stop. Let the wind take my breath and answer for him let the memory of him fade like sun shone in the morning. Be still and silent. Keep Calm and collected Don’t say a word. Then I wont hurt. Please don’t hurt. and maybe just maybe they wont notice my silent eyes and the way they cry. I cry. But only inside for the questions unanswered and a life unknown or what would have been if he had never known.