Mute

My hands are tied. My mouth wide open. I scream as loudly as the mute and unspoken. Powerless to change the direction of your thoughts. Battling against a cause ultimately lost. You ask for an answer to a solved equation. The sum is not a riddle emitting humiliation. So change the direction your feet have take and trust our creator for your very own sake.

Walk away

Today I walked away from you. I cut a corner and didn't look back. I heard your cries but they burn me and I couldn't take the incandescence. Have you not seen my torment? Did you not create this melancholy that covers me? When I raised you I was but adolescent and you brought me fourth so why was I the one holding your sobs. Your sorry cries that I still can not comprehend. I am man. The man you created and I did not ask for you. Did you ever rejoice for me? Do you yearn for my love like I unknowingly for yours? Do you seek my acceptance or has the wall that is my back become the only relationship you have with I. Hurt me so good. Create my imperfections and focus deeply upon them. for all I could ever need is your love. The abyss that is my heart I stuff with empty things to fill the hole that a mothers love should have. Take me back to the child hearing your sweet cries and close your eyes to the dysfunction that you have created in me. Cloak me in you mama. For I yearn for I what cannot accept. I love you more than I love me.

Shame me

Do you see the shame on my eyes. Stained glass windows with years of compromise. Stare through me and judge all that I am. Because I wear excrement on the outside I am somehow less of a man. My everything on my back and my home at your feet. Dare you not ask me about the places I sleep. I am all that you are willing to see. Look into my face and find a human being. A beating heart and flowing blood stained hands a face wilted by the sun. These feet have tread through all terrain and my skin is the jacket that shields me from the rain. God bless me; instead of how are you? somehow they forget I was once human, like you.

This Tree

This tree that grows inside of me is my very own. Rooted deep and buried far the seed of my beginning unknown. My leaves they wilter from years of hanging low and this tree that grows inside of me is my very own. Shower me with love and I willingly grow; vibrantly, cognizant, existing in my very own. My blossoms have been plucked and used for others gain. my lovely bark scraped and scathed in others names. I hide with myself far above my tree. For these roots are the only thing barely grounding me. Hack away at my body use it for your shelter, I am used to being used for your inconsolable swelter. Plant your weeds around me let them thrive from I. Your hurt has become the part of me that I cannot compromise. My body bent and aching, standing on its own, my Sap pure but leaving me for your very own. Use my bark and write your lies all over me. Implant me with your pesticides; Gods plan faulted by human sacrifice. I am a tree still standing, buried inside of me. I am a me still living, for how can a tree ever be truly free.

Listen

I listen this night. My angry hurt loves you and I can't quite let go of hope. Everything within me knows you, but your reckless sparatic exterior shuns those memories. Your nothing that I want yet all that I need. Feel me when I am gone and I know you see me. Eyes closed I reach for you. Laying next to another I know you reach for me. Let me go and I would leave but only so far this shackle will lead. Your losing all that I am. I'm almost to gone. My back turned I hear your thoughts, but you hide from me. You take me away to the most desolate land then leave me to my very own device. You disgust me with the deepest of love that I painstakingly try And bury; yet it grows and no body knows it But I. For all I have is me and though I have been wrong tonight, tonight I listen. Tonight I give way to the feelings I see. Red and dark angry death stare I glare at you in my memories. O the way I hurt for you. Only you.

Remember

Remember this imperfect love. Imprint it on your heart. Grasp it fiercely and posses it's quality. Never let it flutter away. Keep it, for it is all we truly own. Embrace the invisible melody this enamored symphony of love creates.

Deception.

A shadow in pitch darkness is impossible at best
A figure made of light is your faith at true test
I walked in an alley filled with unholy things
I loved a sand man who couldn’t hold my ring
A hog that can fly is every pessimists dream
A kiss with no lips is a bee with no sting
I watched my thoughts float around me like fire fly’s at dusk
Then simultaneously combust; like a lesbian’s unnatural lust.
I stared into a hole un-bounding and old
I sauntered into a wonderland where there where no roads,
And as I walked down them I surely became lost,
For there were no signs telling me which way I ought.
I lived amongst this perplexity for many an hour.
Bewildered and found in the cocoon I once cowered.
I retraced my steps to the road without direction and was found in the lost sense of my very own deception
I loved a sand man who couldn’t hold my heart
I found a sun in the darkness and that was all I sought.