Bad dreams

Is this a dream? It feels like a dream. You know those rare times when you consciously know your dreaming. When you can even here the sounds of reality around you, but your dream just keeps on playing in the for front of your mind like it has no clue your minds eye is open, deliberately watching its every movement. This must be a dream. Otherwise I would feel more or less. I feel almost numb to this unknown land of familiar ache, and O it hurts so painstakingly good. Can you change a dream? You know the times when you fiddle with the idea of flying and for just a moment you soar. Could I have changed this dream to feel better? To fit the happier side of my perception of joy a bit more precise? If I had loved differently than maybe today wouldn't be inherently sad. All of these familiar faces telling me to run to unknown places to deal with their sense of what I am going through. Somehow they imagine they too can feel my very heart disintegrating inside of me.That they too are familiar with the ache known only by my unassuming heart. In truth I am as alone in this as they where in their pains of love, and there is only one human that could fill that looming void; sadly he doesn't believe I could fill his. Yes, I think I'll stay asleep a while longer and if I try hard enough maybe then I could fly.