Wednesday, November 17, 2010

My Sagacity

I am losing it. Every day I lose it a little bit more, but you know what the real problem is? They who discovered “it” never told us exactly what “it” is. So now here I am 22 years old and losing something that I have yet to discover. Is the “it” my beauty? My desire to strive? My sagacity? My mind? How does one lose their mind? I guess when you have to much time to think. To much time to be in there, swimming around in thoughts that have no tactical conclusion. To much time to reflect on what isn’t. what could have been. And who precisely you are. I know who I am. Well because the society I live in has given me a name. a wife, a Christian, a lover, a black girl, a singer, an author A, A, A, A , a something that is everything but me. A word given me by people I will never know and accepted by my actions than contradicted by my uninhibited mind. I think I would like to come up with a new designation for myself. Not one that my parents have given me or my peers. Not a category that so I willingly place myself in. I want to be the “it” that I am losing. I want to be the “it” that I find. I am not losing me and I am not trying to find my lost mind because I am me and me is the it that I will find.

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